I Got Mad at My Dog Tonight

I've never really been mad at Zim before. He's annoyed me before and he's tested my patience, but before tonight, he'd never made me mad at him.

So, Zim's demodex seemed to be getting worse, so we took him back to the vet and got a cream for it. Well, he doesn't like having it applied to the pink demodex spots at all. We think it's because this hurts (the cream is peroxide based and must sting) and then when we first started applying it, I think we made matters worse by how we were holding him and the fact that we just didn't really know how to go about making it a positive experience. So he growled, and eventually he started snapping.

We've made some progress with getting him better with having the cream put on him---no one holds him while it gets put on and we try and stuff him with treats (by which we mean kibble, since we can't resort to anything higher value due to the damn allergy trial---which he ruined yesterday anyway by stealing some Thanksgiving turkey). So, he's okay, now, with getting the cream put on all the spots but the couple that are on his right cheek. With those he still growls and snaps---and worse, as he snaps, he eats the damn cream!! Well, all this makes putting the cream on him very unpleasant and I dread having to put the damn stuff on him twice a day. And tonight, as he snapped at me and licked the cream from my finger as I reached for his cheek for the umpteenth time, I just, well, I'd had enough. I got really mad. We've had so much trouble dealing with it and I'm sick of getting snapped at, annoyed that this irritated cream-eating behavior comes with it and afraid that's he's going to escalate and really bite me despite the fact that there is now food and a clicker and no restraint involved in this whole hellish process.

We've thought about looping a leash around his face just for putting the stuff on his cheek, to try and avoid me really getting bitten and since the positive reinforcement doesn't seem t be helping with that one spot, but then I think, well, won't that just make the experience worse for him? If we resort to that, mightn't we end up moving him so far backwards that he won't let us do the other spots and maybe not want to be handled at all? Because when he's not at the vet or getting a cream that stings put on his face, he has no problem with me touching all of those spots and even manipulating them to a point (he doesn't like having his head grabbed and moved but is fine with chin grabbing, lip lifting and all simple touching).

Maybe we should just give up on a strict allergy trial for a while and shove something really good into him while this happens. As I said before, it's not like he didn't ruin the trial anyway with the turkey. Maybe a few days delay in getting it started again will be worth it and we can get him to cooperate with getting his demodex under control.

Well, either way, tonight was terrible with putting the damn stuff on and it just left me really mad at the dog. Then, as soon as we were done, he grabbed something he oughtn't and I had to take it away and I basically told Fathead to hurry up and take Zim to bed with him. He'd said he was going to bed already and I was mad enough that I wanted no delays. I just wanted Zim out of my hair.

And now I feel really guilty that I got mad at my baby and that I acted mad.